5 Style & Beauty Lessons My Mom Taught Me

For as long as I have been working in fashion, I’ve been asked the question, “who is your style inspiration?†and the person in my life who has always inspired and supported self expression through fashion was my mom. We certainly didn’t always have the same taste and some ways still don’t, but these days we are more likely to raid each other’s closets on a regular basis than tell each other to change. Her style flairs more bold and sophisticated while mine is more gaudy and bright. And for the record, when she tells me to change (and I don’t), it’s mostly when I am wearing leggings covered in a french fry print. Like I said, we don’t agree on everything and that’s okay.

My love of fashion was still something that I never really had to explain to my mom. She took design classes herself during college while she studied business and marketing. When I said I wanted to learn to sew, she helped me find the best teacher. When I started my fashion business, she drove six hours to be at my first fashion show. And as I’ve gotten older, I appreciate all of the ways in which her love of fashion became ingrained in my everyday life. With Mother’s Day approaching, I am reflecting on the ways in which mothers, the female figures in our life, and can inspire and influence as plus size women to be our best sartorial selves.

My mom wears makeup every single day and growing up, I remember my mom being so excited to show me how to do my own makeup. I remember learning to blend eyeshadow and picking out the right foundation from her. Her collection of eye liners and shadows mirrors the rainbow and her lipstick is always a bold magenta pink. Putting on makeup is something that she genuinely enjoys doing so much that when I was younger I never realized that some view makeup as an act designed to please men. Just like the way you dress, makeup should be something fun that you do to please you. If you want to put a full face of makeup on everyday, do it! If you only wear it sometimes, totally cool. If you hate it, that’s awesome too. But do it for you. Do what’s right for you! That’s what my mom taught me.

2. Aging Is Beautiful

Almost every time I am out with my mom, someone compliments her hair. It’s a gorgeous grey but when I was younger, I didn’t understand how beautiful that grey hair and aging in general can be. We live in a youth-obsessed culture of plastic surgery and botox. And while it’s each individual’s choice to do what they want to their own bodies, I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty that comes with age. My mom is allergic to hair dye so dying her hair was never an option for her. And as her hair has transitioned from black to grey over the years, I didn’t see her confidence fade. In fact, I’ve seen it blossom even more.

3. You’re Never Too Old To Try New Things

The older that I’ve become, I can see how easy it is to get stuck in your ways especially when it comes to beauty and fashion choices as a plus size woman. We start to really believe that certain things aren’t for us because well, folks like to remind us on a regular basis what we should and shouldn’t do with our fat bodies. But if there’s one thing I am learning to appreciate more and more from my mom it’s that you are never too old to try new things. As I watch my mom learn to take selfies in her car in my faux fur leopard print coat, I am reminded that personal style and how you go about expressing that can change and evolve as you age. Just because you’ve always done something one way, you don’t have to be that way forever. I’m convinced my mom is going to start a personal style blog when she retires and I will be her number one fan when she does.

4. Forget What People Think

Recently, I was talking with a friend who was about to wear a bikini for the first time. We talked about the fears that can come with doing something new. The more we talked, I realized that her fear wasn’t about the bikini or showing her body but more about what people would say. It was a struggle that I can still totally relate to because I sometimes just don’t have the energy to deal with other people’s condemnation of my fat body despite my own positive feelings about my body. But one thing I hear my mom repeat as she gets older is, “I just don’t care anymore what people think.†It’s made me think about how much we allow other people’s opinions of us to determine what we wear and what we do and the feeling that comes with not caring. is actually what I call freedom. The freedom to do what I want and wear what I want despite what anyone might say about it is the best feeling in the world.

5. Break The Rules

I remember reading this post about things that women should stop wearing after 30 and as I approach that age, I can’t wait to bust through each one of the things on that list. As you get older, the so-called fashion and beauty rules become even more strictly enforced. But older women are actually the best at smashing those rules straight into the ground and while my mom is no , she’s definitely breaking some fashion rules of her own. In a room full of young professionals, my mom is often dressed in the boldest printed blazer and accessorized to the max. When I asked my mom if there was one tip that I should include from her in this story, she said, “always stand out from the crowd.†I think that’s the reason my entire brand and style philosophy is about breaking fashion rules. I learned from one of the best.

So this Mother’s Day, I am breaking out my blue eyeliner. I am going to wear something that bares my fat arms and shows my legs in the grand fashion of older women who’ve inspired me to dress in a way that’s true to me.

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